The Three Faces of Drama

Our “stories” lead to drama because, while they were prompted by actual facts, they become blended with our prejudices, fears, slights, and wounds from the past.  They stir up feelings that rile us up and for which we blame whoever is involved.

There are three types of “stories” that lead to three types of drama:

Victim drama involves stories that make us fearful and feeling at the effect of others.  Samantha just told you that George was laid off yesterday.   A minute ago, you were peacefully working away at your job, happy as a clam.  Now you notice that you are worried about losing your job, and with every passing moment your anxiety grows.  By the end of the day, you are tempted to start packing up your stuff you are so certain that this is your last day.  You are in the grip of victim drama.

Villain drama involves stories that cause you to be judgmental and angry.  You are late for an important meeting.  The highway is packed, you are in the fast lane and the person in front of you is creeping along.  At first you are mildly annoyed.  You pull a little closer to their bumper to encourage them to move over.  Nothing doing.  You flash your high beams just in case they hadn’t noticed you wanted to pass.  Again, no change.  Now you are getting angry.  You can’t get around them and they won’t move over.  You find yourself judging their IQ, gender, age, ethnicity…who knows what!  When you get to the meeting you can’t stop yourself from venting about the so and so who didn’t know the rules of the road.  You are in the grip of villain drama.

Hero drama involves stories that you are the most competent person on your team and that others need your help.  Jose isn’t carrying his weight, but he is a nice guy.  You don’t want the team to dislike him, so you find yourself giving him the easy tasks.  Henry is always in a nasty mood, and no one want to be around him.  You keep telling the team to cut him some slack because he can’t help himself.  Secretly you feel pretty good about yourself because so many people need you.  You don’t even see that the people around you are becoming less competent because you willingly over-function.  You are in the grip of hero drama.

Most people have a favorite type of drama.  Which is yours?