The Power of Preference

Here’s a quick story that I shared with the Skeen Stronghold group this past Monday. As I was driving home last week, a simple moment of clarity struck me. 

I realized that I really wanted a roast beef sandwich. 

Not just any sandwich, but specifically a roast beef sandwich—one of my all-time favorites. I noticed this desire, and instead of simply brushing it off or rationalizing why I didn’t need it, I gave myself permission to pursue it. 

I thought to myself, “I think that I deserve a roast beef sandwich, don’t I?” So I stopped by my local deli, got that sandwich, and delightfully enjoyed every bite. 

Now, you’re probably thinking, “What’s so special about a sandwich?” 

Aside from the fact that it was really good, I want you to think deeper about this small moment. The act of noticing what I wanted, deciding that I deserved it, and taking the initiative to get it was a simple yet important exercise in personal preference—and this is directly linked to Independence, the first of the four key development areas in The Circle Blueprint.

Noticing What You Want

We often move through life on autopilot. We let the world dictate what we should do, eat, wear, or prioritize. But have you ever paused to notice what you really want? 

Independence, as outlined in The Circle Blueprint, begins with awareness. It’s about tuning in to your inner self and noticing your preferences, even in the smallest aspects of life. Whether it’s a desire for a particular meal, the need for a quiet afternoon alone, or a career change, the act of identifying what you want is the first step toward living with greater autonomy.

That moment with the roast beef sandwich was a small act of self-awareness. It reminded me that life doesn’t just happen to us. We can consciously make choices that reflect our desires. Paying attention to your preferences, no matter how trivial they may seem, begins to strengthen your ability to notice the bigger things that matter—like where you want to go in life, who you want to spend your time with, and what legacy you want to leave.

Taking Initiative to Get What You Want

Noticing what you want is one thing, but taking action is where the real power lies. Far too often, we dismiss our desires because they seem insignificant or unworthy of pursuit. Maybe it’s easier to settle for whatever is convenient rather than putting in the effort or going the extra mile to get exactly what you want. But every time you act on your preferences, you reinforce the idea that your desires matter.

For me, that roast beef sandwich wasn’t just a mere sandwich; it was a reminder that I have agency over my life. I could have settled for something easier, but I didn’t. I chose to honor my desire. This act of honoring yourself builds confidence and trains your mind to value your preferences in larger decisions as well. The more you practice taking initiative on the small things, the better prepared you are to tackle the bigger things.

Building Independence Through Small Wins

In The Circle Blueprint, we talk about Independence as one of the four key pillars to living a fulfilled life. Independence is more than the ability to stand alone; it’s about having the courage to make choices that reflect your true self. The power to create your own path starts with small wins, like getting that sandwich or taking five minutes of quiet time for yourself. Like exercising a muscle, these actions build strength and momentum and, over time, train and empower you to make more significant, life-changing decisions.

3 Steps to Exercising Your Preference

1. Tune In to Yourself: Start by paying attention to your inner voice. Ask yourself, “What do I really want right now?” Notice the small preferences you usually overlook and make a conscious effort to acknowledge them.
2. Take Immediate Action: Once you recognize a desire, take action, no matter how small it may seem. Whether it’s getting a specific meal or making time for a hobby, show yourself that your preferences matter.
3. Celebrate Your Wins: Each time you follow through on your desires, take a moment to appreciate the effort. These small actions compound over time, building your sense of autonomy and strengthening your ability to make bigger, more meaningful choices in the future.

When you practice exercising your personal preferences, no matter how small, you’re training yourself to live a more independent, intentional life. Ultimately, it’s those small moments—like getting a roast beef sandwich—are what prepare you to achieve the bigger, life-altering goals you desire.

– Jack

Let’s talk!