Entitlements: We All Have Them!

You may not think of yourself as someone who has entitlements but, most likely, you do!  Entitlements are expectations of how you think things should go.  Let’s see if any of these fit you:

• I am entitled to be kissed when I come home from work. (You may have to think back to pre-Covid days on this one!)
• I am entitled to my kids picking up their toys.
• I am entitled to my morning coffee.
• I am entitled to go fast in the fast lane on the highway.
• I am entitled to my favorite meal and my local restaurant.

You get the idea and can probably list some of your most cherished entitlements.  You know they are entitlements when you find yourself getting frustrated or confused when things don’t work out as you expected.  When you don’t get your kiss, you might start to wonder if something is wrong.  When the kids don’t do what you say, you might feel they aren’t being fair to you as you recount in your mind all you have done for them.  When you don’t get your coffee, you hear yourself wondering, “How can anyone start their day without coffee”.

Expectations set you up for disappointment for the simple reason that life neither knows about nor really cares about your expectations.  I know that might be shocking!  Life is bigger than you and doesn’t owe you a thing.  Your entitlements are a surefire way to get yourself sideways with life.  And one seemingly universal truth about human beings is that when we get disappointed, we get pissy.

One of the big secrets of happiness and successful relationships is to hold your expectations lightly.  It is certainly okay to want things to go your way.  But it is also a wonderful trait when you can flex with how things actually turn out.

Practice flexing with your entitlements this week.  Notice when you are in the grip of an entitlement and see if you can open yourself to some new possibility, something unexpected that may actually be bigger than your expectation.  Perhaps you didn’t get the meal you wanted at your favorite restaurant but the one you ended up with was actually better than your old favorite.

Let me know how this goes.