Drama: The Great Energy Waster

“Oh, quit being so dramatic!”, you may have been told.  Sometimes it seems that drama may be its own pandemic!  It is everywhere.  And it brings emotional distress, anger, relational pain, and even violence with it.

I define drama as emotional arousal without a real cause.  The tricky part here is that drama always seems to have a real cause.  But, in truth, drama arises not from the circumstances of life but from our own mind. In other words, our thoughts trigger our upset.

Consider a time when you were angry at a friend or coworker.  They probably said or did something you didn’t like.  Then notice what your mind did with that event.  You took it personally.  Perhaps you amplified it into something intentional or built it into a whole pattern of behavior instead of a simple comment.  You can feel your anger grow as your mind puts more wood on the fire of your upset.  What started out as a little sting is now full-blown resentment.

Drama undermines emotional tranquility and relational harmony.  It builds walls between people who used to love each other.  It wrecks teams that need to be open and collaborative.  It undermines civility and destroys supportive culture.

The first step in dealing with drama is to notice it when it appears and to call it for what it really is.  You can do this by paying attention to your emotional state and the stories that drive it.  There are three basic emotions that should signal your search for drama: sadness, anger, and fear.  Emotions are like warning lights on your car’s dashboard.  They let you know that something is wrong.  They occur spontaneously in your body.

As soon as you find yourself experiencing one of those negative emotions ask yourself what happened to prompt it?  You will likely identify something that served as a trigger.  Next, ask yourself what meaning you made of the event?  Did you embellish, exaggerate, or personalize it in any way? If you did, you have found the source of the drama.

Way to go!  You are now a certified “Drama Hunter”.  Check in next time to learn more about drama.