Civility: Being a Plow Horse or a Reservoir

Civility is defined as courtesy, politeness; a polite act or expression. A few observations about civility:

• The world works better with more civility.
• Civility is something each of us can choose.
• We can choose civility at any moment each day.

Taking care of the people who matter to you is important.  They depend on you to keep your word, to have their best interest in mind, to provide, to be dependable and reliable.  The success of the family, friendships, business, governments, and societies are built on the commitment of good men and women to take good care of others.

But there are two ways you can exercise that responsibility.  The first, and most common, is to be like a plow horse.   A plow horse wakes up every morning to be hitched to a plow that it will pull through the field until the end of the day.  Day after day is the same; difficult, strenuous, exhausting work.  The reward for being a good plow horse is a bag of oats at the end of the day.  When you live like a plow horse you take on caring for others as a burden that will require great personal sacrifice.  You are willing to do what is necessary in order to ensure your children have the opportunity to get a good education or live in the right neighborhood.  You will secure the financial wellbeing of your family regardless of what it costs you.  If this is you, you will likely feel anxious, pressured, frustrated and, at times exhausted.  You are caring for others at great expense to yourself.  You are wearing yourself out trying to do the right thing.

The second way is to be a reservoir.  Reservoirs are perpetually fed by springs and streams such that they overflow.  All downstream that use the water from the reservoir do so without diminishing or draining it at all.  The reservoir shares its’ abundance in great measure.  Imagine caring for others in this manner.  You learn how to feed your aliveness, gifts, skills, and productivity in a way that you fill yourself full and overflowing.  The people around you benefit greatly from all that you produce and without draining you at all.

There is still time at the beginning of this New Year to commit to habits that feed and sustain you.  Consider the importance of regular times to contemplate that which is important to you and to plan for what you want to create.  Consider the importance of adequate rest, fun and friendship.  Consider the value in replacing habits that undermine you with ones that feed your vitality.