Civility and Getting Past the Need to be Right

We live in a time when many people seem to be committed to the need to be right.  They are convinced that their opinion is correct and all other opinions are wrong.  The need to be right is a polarizing point of view.  It separates people into friends (those who agree with me) and enemies (all who don’t agree with me).

The alternative to needing to be right is to be committed to openness and curiosity.  You have your point of view but believe there are things you don’t know and you are open to learn.  You entertain opposing points of view seeking to modify your opinion as a result.

In my work with companies, this is called “shifting from below to above the line”.  You are “below the line” when you are closed and defensive.  When you become aware that you are “below the line” you can choose to make a conscious shift to “being above the line” by becoming open and curious.

This is not a difficult skill to master.  Start by taking a few deep breaths.  Next, shift your posture.  Remind yourself of how much you have to learn in life.  Now, pick a view contrary to yours and seek the merits of that position.  See if you can’t modify your point of view, even if slightly.

Isn’t it pleasant to live “above the line”?