Civility: The Power of Seeing Others

“Civility costs nothing and buys everything.”
– Mary Wortley Montagu, English writer, poet, and advocate

Civility is more than politeness or good manners. It is the simple yet profound act of seeing another person—noticing their existence, hearing their words, and valuing their presence.

When we practice civility, we acknowledge that we are not the center of the universe. 

We set aside our own preoccupations long enough to recognize the dignity and humanity of the person in front of us. In doing so, we create a world that feels less harsh, less divided, and more compassionate.

Why Civility Matters

Civility is not weakness. It is not about suppressing your thoughts or avoiding conflict. Rather, it is a form of strength—the ability to remain grounded in your own worth while also respecting the worth of others.

Today’s world rewards self-promotion and individualism. Civility reminds us that life is not just about getting ahead, but about walking together. When we consciously practice civility, we create space for connection, collaboration, and understanding. It transforms interactions from transactional exchanges into meaningful moments.

Shifting the Focus from Self to Others

Much of incivility stems from an excessive focus on the self—our own frustrations, desires, and grievances. We are often so consumed by our inner narratives that we fail to see the person in front of us as real, with their own struggles and aspirations.

But what if, for a moment, we let go of ourselves? What if we paused to ask, What does this person need? How can I contribute to their well-being?

A simple act—holding the door open, offering a kind word, listening with full attention—can shift the quality and atmosphere of an entire interaction. 

Civility is not about grand gestures; it’s about small, intentional choices that affirm the value of others.

Practicing Civility in Daily Life

Civility is a choice we can make at any moment. It is available to us in every interaction—whether we’re speaking to a colleague, a stranger, or a loved one.

Take a moment today to slow down and observe. Notice the person ringing up your groceries. See the coworker who seems preoccupied. Hear the frustration in a friend’s voice. Ask yourself, “How can I respond with kindness?”

When you become someone who truly sees others, you make the world a softer, more humane place.  Not just for them—but for yourself as well.

Key Thoughts:

1. Civility is about seeing others.
   Acknowledge their presence, their worth, and their humanity.
   
2. Shifting the focus from yourself creates space for connection.
   When you stop obsessing over your own concerns, you can be present for others.
   
3. Small acts of civility have a big impact.
   A kind word, a moment of patience, or a seemingly small gesture of kindness or respect can change the course of someone’s day—maybe even their life.
   
4. Civility is a choice.
   In every moment, you have the power to bring more kindness into the world.

Choose civility today. See others. 

Make the world better.

-Jack

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