What the Dying Can Teach Us About Living 

For eight years, Bronnie Ware worked as a palliative care nurse in Australia. She provided compassionate care and physical, emotional, and spiritual support to people facing the end of their lives.

She documented her deep, personal conversations with patients in their final days, capturing these insights in her blog and later her best-selling book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. Years of listening to patients’ stories and observing their emotional journeys led her to identify several universal regrets that people had at the end of their lives, regardless of their age, background, or circumstances.

Her book offers a rare glimpse into the human condition at its most honest—when time is nearly at and end, and worldly distractions fade away. 

The Five Regrets That Define The End

“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”
Too many people realize too late that they have spent their lives living up to others’ expectations. Their dreams were given up to obtain the approval of others, and their authenticity was buried under the weight of societal norms and obligations.

“I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.”
For many, the relentless pursuit of career goals came at a steep cost—missed family time, lost moments of connection, and relationships left to wither. Ware observed that every male patient she cared for expressed this regret.

“I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.”
Fear of vulnerability often holds us back from expressing love, disappointment, or even anger. Yet it’s the unspoken words that weigh the heaviest at the end.

“I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.”
Friendships often become collateral damage in the pursuit of success or survival. Yet, in our final moments, it is not our accomplishments but our connections that bring comfort and meaning.

“I wish I had let myself be happier.”
Happiness is not an outcome; it’s a choice we can make every single day. Too often, people postpone their joy, thinking it lies in some future achievement, only to realize too late that happiness was readily accessible to them the whole time.

Bronnie Ware’s patients offer us a precious gift—the clarity of hindsight. Their unique end-of-life perspective challenges us to live deliberately and bravely today, to cherish relationships, and to seek happiness in the now. 

While the book’s title might indicate otherwise, ultimately it isn’t really about death—it’s about living. Living authentically, embracing vulnerability, and prioritizing what truly matters.

From Reflection to Action: How to Live Without Regrets

1. Audit Your Life Against Your Authentic Self
   Take a moment to ask yourself: Am I living the life I truly want? If the answer feels unclear, write down your biggest dreams or desires. Then, identify one action—however small—that you can take this week to move toward them. Authentic living is a daily choice.
2. Prioritize Relationships Over Productivity
   Time is the most precious resource we have, and it’s best invested in people and relationships. Commit to being present with loved ones. Set boundaries around work—whether it’s turning off notifications during dinner, or scheduling regular time with family or friends.
3. Choose Joy Every Day
   For most of us, joy doesn’t always arrive on its own; it’s cultivated through gratitude and mindfulness. Start each morning by listing three things you’re grateful for. Look for happiness in the small moments—a beautiful flower, laughter, or a deep breath—and remind yourself that joy is not a reward for success but a practice of presence.

Ultimately, our greatest regrets come not from mistakes but from missed opportunities to live authentically, love deeply, and embrace happiness. I recommend you check out her book.

-Jack

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