Shifting from Below to Above “The Line”

We don’t always like the feedback life is providing but we always need it.  Going below the line is natural but staying there is problematic.  When we are below the line we aren’t open to learning and so are resistant to change the troublesome issues that life is pointing out.

The first move in shifting is to notice you are below the line.  Many people lack that awareness.  That is why it is so important to regularly invite constructive criticism. The second move is making the choice to shift.  This requires making learning and growing more important than being right and defending yourself.  The third move is simply to breathe.  A few deep breathes will shift your energy from being reactive and so give you the ability to change your mental state.  The fourth move is postural.  Uncross your arms, release your clenched jaw, and relax.  Now you are ready to shift from below to above the line.

First, listen to the feedback without preparing your response.  You will know you have succeeded if you can repeat what was said to you without adding your own commentary or changing anything.

Second, ask questions to better understand the feedback.  When, where, and why are great questions to explore what you are hearing.

Third, rather than trying to minimize or dismiss the feedback, try it on to see if or how it might be true even if it isn’t always true.

Fourth, wonder about the implications of the feedback and how changing might make things better for you and those around you.

Fifth, appreciate the person who gave you the feedback because knowing what you know now is going to make you better.

Finally, change something!  Remember that feedback is about improving your game.  Until you change what is getting in your way, the feedback will only become more costly and problematic.

Now that you know how to shift from below to above the line, practice.  Be open today to the feedback you receive and send me one example of when you made the shift.